Workout Blues – Wonder what the hell is wrong with you?

I have been a martial arts trainer and later a personal trainer for about 21 years now. That is pretty much most of my life. Sometimes my clients seem to think that I don’t do anything wrong in regards to fitness and health. I eat right, train all the time and pretty much am perfect when it comes to fitness (yeahhhh right!)

This could not be any further from the truth

Chocolate prevents pain

How do you feel?

I will not go back to my martial arts days but stay in the present. Actually we start working our way back to….Yesterday. Yesterday night I was at home. I have been having a lot of stress personal and business-wise lately. I had been cheating on my nutrition. I used to primarily eat unprocessed food for the past 2.5 years or so and had been doing great. I slipped here and there but only rarely. Well, since end of July I have been struggling. I am back to my chocolate addiction.
Nothing is more fun than feeling out of control. I promise myself every day that I will do better today; and then guess what? Sh*t happens and I am back to the refrigerator, eating 500-700 kcal of chocolate in about 30s. You think I am kidding? Ask my wife Jessie, she will confirm this!

But this is not everything. This is not all. I have been struggling in training, I have been doing most of my work outs,  but I have had a hard time. One time, I finished my warm up sat down and just simply started doing paper work. I just could not bring myself to work out. Other days I might cut a training short, not pay attention to what I am doing, or simply not put any effort behind it. What is going on?

Singing The Workout Blues – or simply put WTF?

Basically I am not feeling it at the moment. Not a good thing if your livelihood is personal training and here it comes…..fitness (that word is driving me nuts). In addition I am writing about my issues. Maybe I have bad case of verbal diarrhea or the need to feel appreciated? Who cares! Makes you wonder what is wrong with me 🙂

Let’s not ask that question, because I know i would get a ton of answers from friends, family and clients. None of which I would necessarily like.

It is really not that complicated.

Once upon a time, in an enchanted forest (okay forget the forest) it started slowly. I used to run marathons and ultra-marathons. It was a challenge to me, I wanted to see if I could do it. (I am very driven when it comes to that). Once I realized I can do it I tried longer, harder, you name it. Eventually I caught on that I would either start compromising my health in order to achieve these loftier goals or starting to hate it; because if you train for a 100 mile race or something similarly crazy you are putting a ton of hours in, I don’t enjoy doing anything that long or that often. I had not been doing the running for the love of it but rather for other reasons.

I shifted my goals to fitness…don’t get me started. Fitness, what is that? Everything became fuzzy. Before it was easy. Run faster, further overcome crazy hurdles, you name it. Now…become a fitter person. What the hell does that mean anyway? Do I need to look more like an underwear model (wishful thinking), be bigger, does it include cardio, stretching, limberness, martial arts?

Sometimes you have the workout blues

My own workout blues two weeks ago!

I was struggling. Finally I set a fuzzy goal of gaining 10 lbs of lean muscle mass. Hey, don’t judge, I needed a goal! I actually started to see some progress.

Then life hit. Things started happening and here I was, struggling. I realized I was not really firmly anchored in my goals and who or why I trained and my motivation dropped rapidly as well as my ability to withstand crappy foods in form of delicious, melt in your mouth… and hand, 70% dark chocolate from belgium.

My boat got rocked and everything that was not firmly attached to it was pushed and shoved around, some things like my nutrition went completely overboard for the moment.

What is the solution

In case you were wondering, I do not enjoy feeling like a boat in a storm, or want to keep this mindset. I get angry, feel guilty, cannot stand myself.  I don’t need to rock a six pack but like to be fit…there is that darn word again.

My personal problem was, that I used to define myself over my physical accomplishments and once I had achieved one, it was no longer valid. Something new, harder had to replace it in order to get a sense of satisfaction.

I have been thinking back to when I started working with my business coach and he asked me the question: “Who are you?”

I came up with a lot of things, but usually it just described what I was…e.g. personal trainer, dad…etc. But what he was referring to was: who are you?Meaning: what do I want out of life, what do I seek, what do I stand for,  what do I truly love to do?

Basically, find the essence of you!

Imagine this: You lose your job, your house, your kids, your spouse. Everything. There are a few people who in that moment, despite devastation, shine. They don’t shine because they want to be heroes, but they shine because they know who they are. They still suffer from grieve, pain, and sadness like everyone else but they are deeply rooted in themselves. They have a love, caring, and compassion not just for others but also for themselves.

Final conclusion to the solution?

Well, to me, it means going back into myself. Talking to myself, because my workout blues are just a symptom of something deeper going on. I talk to myself and you might have seen me running, mumbling and talking. You can put me away as a crazy person, many would probably agree. It is my way of doing the following:

  • Find out what I really feel
  • Taking responsibility for my actions
  • Leaving guilt behind (at first often temporarily only)
  • Learning to be less harsh to myself
  • Learning to love myself for who I am (because no one is as much of a critic as I am when it comes to me)
  • Encourage myself to take action and disregard failures or mistakes as lessons of life.

Have a great day,

Michael

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